Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
false alarm, still single
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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