Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
