and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
