Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
