So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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