I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
