I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my being single is dangerous.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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