It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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