a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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