she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
