So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
