Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
