My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
