Kiss
Puke
if you like me you must not know who I am
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
where are you?
Hypothermia
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize