wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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