He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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