walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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