We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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