Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
