i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The Olympian is in my bed
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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