So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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