he shaved USA in his pubs
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
