yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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