Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
