all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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