I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
tell me about the eggs
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
