You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just want nice things and good sex
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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