SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
