and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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