You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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