will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
