I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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