First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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