her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
