I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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