I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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