You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
