guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
