And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
