an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize
