My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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