You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
