watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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