What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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