We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
