I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This baby is an asshole
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
