Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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