I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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