Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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