He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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